Oh Poop

It was grocery day. Well ok maybe way PAST grocery day. So far past that I decided we needed to stop by a local coffee shop to get breakfast so Dean could have milk. Well, ok because any excuse is a good excuse to have someone else make me coffee and yummy muffins.

We had to go through our usual to get Dean dressed. I couldn't find his newer shoes (the ones that actually fit) anywhere. "Dean, where are your shoes? Have you seen them? Help me find them, please." "They gone," he said. "Uh, gone where? We just had them yesterday," I responded. "They go to Nanda. (pause) Yesterday." "That's very interesting Dean. How'd they get to Canada?" I ask in a futile attempt to track them down. "They go with daddy on an airplane. It ok, mop. I no like them anyway. You take them back to the store. I no like them."

I finally found them next to the front tire of my car. The flat one. Yeah, that's right, the FLAT tire on my car! After deciding it probably had enough air in it to get us to the grocery store, we set out on our original errand with no more goof ups...until...

I handed Dean the broccoli that he was very insistent on holding. What could it hurt? I thought. It's just broccoli. How cool is it that he's that into broccoli. As we walked through the grocery store a constant stream of words regarding his love for broccoli were accompanied by his imitation of eating it "all up". The coolness of pretend eating wore off for him and his beloved broccoli quickly became a hose. He began spraying noisily at items on the shelf. Then I had to open my big mouth. "What are you spraying?" "Poop." he responded. "Wait, did I hear you right? You're spraying poop? Out of that hose?" "Yeah," he said. I could tell he was only half listening. So I asked him what he was spraying again. He looked real thoughtful. "Pee-pull. I spayng pee-pul," he said carefully. Darn it all! I think I just gave him the idea to spray poop at people. What have I done?