Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Oh Poop

It was grocery day. Well ok maybe way PAST grocery day. So far past that I decided we needed to stop by a local coffee shop to get breakfast so Dean could have milk. Well, ok because any excuse is a good excuse to have someone else make me coffee and yummy muffins.

We had to go through our usual to get Dean dressed. I couldn't find his newer shoes (the ones that actually fit) anywhere. "Dean, where are your shoes? Have you seen them? Help me find them, please." "They gone," he said. "Uh, gone where? We just had them yesterday," I responded. "They go to Nanda. (pause) Yesterday." "That's very interesting Dean. How'd they get to Canada?" I ask in a futile attempt to track them down. "They go with daddy on an airplane. It ok, mop. I no like them anyway. You take them back to the store. I no like them."

I finally found them next to the front tire of my car. The flat one. Yeah, that's right, the FLAT tire on my car! After deciding it probably had enough air in it to get us to the grocery store, we set out on our original errand with no more goof ups...until...

I handed Dean the broccoli that he was very insistent on holding. What could it hurt? I thought. It's just broccoli. How cool is it that he's that into broccoli. As we walked through the grocery store a constant stream of words regarding his love for broccoli were accompanied by his imitation of eating it "all up". The coolness of pretend eating wore off for him and his beloved broccoli quickly became a hose. He began spraying noisily at items on the shelf. Then I had to open my big mouth. "What are you spraying?" "Poop." he responded. "Wait, did I hear you right? You're spraying poop? Out of that hose?" "Yeah," he said. I could tell he was only half listening. So I asked him what he was spraying again. He looked real thoughtful. "Pee-pull. I spayng pee-pul," he said carefully. Darn it all! I think I just gave him the idea to spray poop at people. What have I done?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Dinner Conversation

We'd eaten dinner and I was clearing the plates. I was amazed that Dean hadn't asked to be excused in his usual prompt "let me down as soon as I can" manner. "Hi daddy!" I heard him say, "No way! No WAAAAY!. Daddy you crack me up." "What did he say," I dumbly asked. " I NOT talking to YOU. Don't talk to MEEEEE!" he replied. Then he turned to his brother, "Jack, Daddy say he Super Daddy."

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Smartie Pants

Every night when we take a bath, I pull the plug from the drain and let the boys stay in it until the water is gone. This gives them a bit of a warning that bath time is over and creates less melt downs. Tonight Dean figured out that if he gently slid Jack over the drain, his butt would plug it back up and the water would stay in. Jack didn't seem to mind.

Friday, August 21, 2009

A Pocket Full Of...

Sometimes when you have your hands full, but you want your kid to stay very close for safety reasons (like crossing the street) it is helpful to have the child hold your pocket. I've tried it during the last year or so a few times, but Dean has trouble getting a good grip and I should have started training him with it a little better before Jack came along and my hands were too full to guide him along the way.

Today I watched as a woman started crossing the street with a shopping cart being pushed with one hand and a cell phone in the other. Her two kids trailed along behind. Just as she stepped into the street she ordered, "Grab a pocket." They were the fastest pocket grabbers I have ever seen. I was amazed, impressed even. As I was thinking of ways she may have trained them to be such stealthy pocket grabbers, I thought about the location of the pockets they grabbed. The were on her butt. It is all so automatic for them that I wonder if she every says "Grab a pocket." when she's wearing, say, a skirt or something with no pockets. Do the kids just desperately grab at her butt? Do they put a hand on each of her cheeks and trot along?

*** *** ***

Dean and Jack were playing next to eachother on the floor this afternoon. This is the conversation they had:

Dean: Hey Jack

Jack: Hiiiiiiiiii

Dean: I love you big. (pause) I said I love you BIG.

Jack stares wide eyed with a big goofy smile on his face.

Dean: Jack, can I have a baby back ride?

At which point Dean begins to climb on Jack's back. Conversation over. Mom intervenes.

Slip N' Slide

After a mostly restful night (Jack slept in 3 hour chunks), I thought I'd be ready to face the day in a calm motherly manner. I'd nurse my son back to health, cuddle the baby, and do my chores. I set the boys up for breakfast and started our usual battles. Dean's more irritable than usual because he's not feeling well, so we had to grump back and forth over every little thing. The kicker was the yogurt. Dean didn't want HIS yogurt. He wanted Jack's yogurt. They each had blueberry Yobaby yogurt. They were the same. But Dean just knew Jack's was better. When I told him he couldn't have any of Jack's, he kicked me.

And so, he went to his room. Usually he screams and yells and says he wants his daddy, but today he was VERY quiet. Oh crap! He was peeing. I just knew he must be if he was that quiet. So I abandoned Jack in his highchair and rush to Dean's room. He was sitting calmly on his bed staring at me. I started to relax thinking that he hadn't after all when I suddenly slipped and fell into a giant puddle of pee. GIANT I tell you. I was soaked. My shorts were wet. My shirt was wet. Even my ankle braces was saturated with urine. Thankfully I didn't injure my ankle further, but I did jerk my shoulder around pretty good as I made a desperate grab for the wall on the way down.

I'm sure my shoulder is fine. I PRAY that it is, because I can just see myself at the doctor's office now. "So how'd you hurt you shoulder?" she'd ask. "I slipped in my son's pee." I'd reply. Great.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Strength Training

After a very long night of bedtime battles and middle of the night wakings from the kids I awoke very tired this morning. Thankfully, about 11 last night when Jack still wasn't asleep I strapped him in the back carrier and set up the coffee maker so I'd be set first thing in the morning. I knew today would be a coffee day, but I didn't know how much more I should have made.

I've begun to realize that if I try to stick around the house after long nights like that, I become focused on how to get a few moments here and there to rest or relax. When I'm teaching after a night like that, I do just fine because I am out and about and must be ON. So today I decided to just be ON.

We started with a walk and some backyard time. Then it dawned on me that we needed something MORE to just keep going. I have a Six Flags season pass and I needed to use it. So I loaded up the boys (which took like an hour, with maybe a half hour of trying to get Dean INTO the car) and headed out. I even went with a plan. And it was a good one.

I hate our double stroller because it is heavy and hard to push. I find it totally unbearable, so I decided I would take only the single stroller and bring the baby carrier for "just in case" Dean became to tired. I figured we'd see a show first thing because it is a LONG walk from the parking lot to the park. I had extra shorts for potty accidents, diapers for those other accidents, snacks to sneak in, and lunches packed so we could eat at the car before we drove home.

What I didn't plan for was the weather. It was 80 when I left my home. 30 minutes later, it was 62...Six Flags was much colder. So I did what any good mom would do. I found my bathing suit cover in the trunk ( a skirt) and made Jack wear it. If you're reading this Jack, no it was not Halloween and yes you were wearing a skirt...in public. But it was black and long and flowy so it was ok. Then I went into the store and bought Dean a sweat shirt, because by the time we'd made it inside the park his arms were blue.

So part of my plan was foiled, but remedied. Except the part where I'd left the baby carrier at home. It was not in the trunk with the one kid stroller as I thought. It was now VERY important that I find a show to sit at so that Dean's little legs could have a break. He was so excited to be there that he'd been running for our 15 minute hike in. I pulled out our map to find my to the Elephant show (this Six Flags is part zoo) and was pleasantly surprised when an older gentleman with a Six Flags uniform stopped to ask me if he could assist. Why yes thank you Mr. Nice Employee could you please tell me where the Elephants are. He did, they weren't there. He'd sent us to loop the outside of the entire park before we would get to our destination. By the time I'd realized that we had in fact STARTED near the elephants, it was too late. We missed the show.

But all was not lost, there were rides to ride along the way. My poor sweet boy dutifully rode rollercoasters, and fair type rides all by himself while Jack and I watched. Jack can not ride these rides until he can walk. I dubiously held him in front of one employee and showed how he could STAND all by himself without holding onto anything, but it apparently doesn't count as WALKING.

Dean enjoyed the rides, but in a more engineer type of enjoyment. He rode each ride and spent the entire time looking at the gear and levers that made it work rather than at the colorful pictures or even the scenery for each and every ride.

About the time we made it to the Elephants Dean hit total melt down. He was tired. He didn't want to walk, he didn't want me to carry him, and nothing would please the little man. So I hoisted him onto my shoulders where he couldn't get away and began the march back through the park to the car while pushing my other tub of love in his stroller. We made quite the scene as Dean screamed at me to let him down and I repeatedly told him no that he was too tired.

Now I must tell you, in case you didn't know, that those tall strong daddys or maybe even uncles that you see with kids on their shoulders are just that...STRONG. And I mean STRONG. By the time I made it back to the car pushing the stroller carrying my 25lb infant and giving my screaming tantrum throwing toddler a shoulder ride, my thoughts were on the IBprofein that I still can't have because I'm nursing.

I got the boys into the car and started giving them thier lunch (can't have outside food in the park) when Dean declared that his ear hurt and I thought, "Uh oh." Well ok maybe I thought something more like CRAP! AGAIN! REALLY!? NOW!? Because we've done this with you before. Like maybe 12 times in your short two years. Only daddy's always been there to help comfort you in the middle of the night when you wake in pain. AND I'm too young to be responsible for you all by myself. I'm not credentialed for that. They gave me a credential for teaching little children, not to nurse them back to health.

After we'd made it home and visited the doctor who we were able to see right away, we found out that Dean has an ear infection. Surprised? AND strep throat. Ok, THAT was a surprise. Poor Dean. Poor, poor Dean. He was really sick, had a fever, and his dumb Mop made him walk through the entire SIX FLAGS park.

But the best part of his day was the visit with his doctor (whom I am so glad to have as his doctor again). He let him hold the light he uses to look into kiddos ears. Like, let him hold it for almost 10 minutes. Our doctor is not only great at diagnosing children, but also takes the time to know them. He's awesome. I just want to visit him for checkups from now on.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

It's a Hard Job...But somebody's got to do it.

After working a 17 hour shift with no breaks, I will be on call all night. Man this stay at home mom position is serious business.

Ha! I crack myself up.

A New Chapter

And I suppose it is time to start writing again. I am missing IMPORTANT documentation of my little ones as they grow too quickly. Lord knows that I'll want to remember every little detail about their lives. Haha!

And so I'll start with some short stories.

Yesterday the boys had a busy morning while grandma and great grandma Ellen came to watch them so that I could go to my newest ankle doctor. The doctor will not be sending me for more physical therapy just yet. He'd like to wait another 6 weeks and see what nature does. I get that. I still ache, but it is getting better as I go. I told him I was feeling impatient and wanted to be back to normal again and he said it might take the full year for this one. A full year. That's how long it takes to completely recover from childbirth. Exceot for the occasional tweak when I over do it, my tummy muscles feel just fine. Why the long healing ankle? Science is interesting.

Lucas is back in Canada again after his week off. It went by fast and we miss him, but the transition seems to be smoother this time around. Like with everything in our lives, we'll probably settle in finally just as he gets to move back home.

Last night when Dean was talking himself to sleep he suddenly yelled, "Daddy, I plant flowers with Mop today!" He's been yelling things at the top of his lungs that he wants to tell his daddy. Sometimes I think that he's loud enough that daddy can probably hear him.

I am in a writing funk.It's become more difficult to write because of my fear of how people will interpret things. Will they see my story as funny? Will they decide I am just a whiner and I need to grow up? Can I sometimes write about a tough time and have it just be that, a tough time worth sharing? And with that and another crummy post...here's a wonderful picture of my Jack that was sent to me.

He says a few words and phrases, loves to talk on the phone, and is still trying desperately to walk. Yeah, that's right, he's a real ladies man.